my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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