my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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