the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
