The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We need to get me chipped asap
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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