I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I love you. Go after that dick
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
