My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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