He kissed a someone with a penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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