yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
