I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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