I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
