I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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