i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
