I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
