my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
