In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
