What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize