These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
