My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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