Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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