My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
