About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she looked like the before picture.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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