This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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