dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
