That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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