I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
