i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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