you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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