dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
