get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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