I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
