Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
