just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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