Nicole vs. Life
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
