Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
