The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize