So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
