every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
