i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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