she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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