There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
