We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
