problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
