I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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