dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
