nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
