She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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