I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize