MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
