Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
