why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
