yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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