Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
