batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
