Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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