I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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