my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
