she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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