Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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