You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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