I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
