the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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