My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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