hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
