I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've blown a few things in my day
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
