talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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