She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
