nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
