hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
