White coat. Heels.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
