It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
