she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
