She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
