That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All the doctor said was why
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize